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AK PSYCHOTHERAPY
About Me
Approach
Trauma Therapy
Anxiety & Overwhelm Therapy
People Pleasing, Codependency, & Perfectionism Therapy
Depression & Burn Out Therapy
Individual Therapy
Therapist Support & Consultation Group
Codependency & Healthy Relationships Support Group
Supervision & Consultation
EMDR Intensives
FAQs
Fees
Blog
Free Consultation
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5 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotage (Even When We Want Better for Ourselves)
Trauma & Self-Worth Alyssa Kushner, LCSW 5/18/25 Trauma & Self-Worth Alyssa Kushner, LCSW 5/18/25

5 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotage (Even When We Want Better for Ourselves)

Self-sabotage isn’t about laziness or lack of motivation - it’s often a trauma response. This blog explores the deeper reasons we hold ourselves back and how to heal from the patterns that keep us stuck.

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High functioning codependency shows up as having it all together on the outside - fixing, being the supportive friend, always dependable.⁣
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But internally there’s a lot of pain. A lot of deeply internalized beliefs about where your worth comes Your window of tolerance is the optimal zone where you can effectively connect with others, function best, think rationally, and manage life’s stressors!⁣
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It’s important to have awareness of your window. In therapy you can learn your tr Lately I’ve been talking with so many clients about the difference between resting and shutting down.⁣
They look the same on the outside… but inside, they’re super different .⁣
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If you’ve ever wondered why some “rest&r December tends to be super busy. ⁣
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So personally, this month I’m letting my system exhale. ⁣
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Less urgency, more pacing. Less “should,” and more “what do I want and need?” ⁣
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Rather than speed things up this month an
Happy Thanksgiving 🧡🤎⁣
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A gentle reminder you don’t have to be the peacemaker, the fixer, or the emotional buffer today.⁣
You just get to be human. ⁣
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And that gratitude & thankfulness doesn’t take away from the struggles! We can Thanksgiving is basically the Olympics for people-pleasers.⁣
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Family, food, travel, noise, old patterns - it all gets activated at once.⁣
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If you catch yourself over-explaining, over-apologizing, scanning people’s moods, or trying to keep the So many over functioners grew up managing the emotional temperature of every room you walked into.⁣
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Not because you wanted to… but because you had to.⁣
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If you still notice yourself scanning for tension, smoothing things over, or stepping i
Every year I give some reminders that the holidays can be quite overhelming and stressful! So much pressure to feel jolly and grateful, lots of plan, extra family time, highlighting of where you feel you were “supposed to be.”
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ESP for p

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Alyssa Kushner, LCSW
alyssakushnerlcsw@gmail.com

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