New York City
(Virtual therapy in NY, NJ, DC, & MD)
Therapy to Heal from Anxiety, Trauma, People-Pleasing, and the Exhaustion From Holding Everything for Everyone
Deeper support for those ready to stop overthinking, overgiving, overfunctioning, and overriding their own needs.
You feel stuck in patterns of overthinking, overgiving, and putting everyone else first - feeling responsible for everyone's emotions and never your own needs - leaving you both overwhelmed and exhausted.
You constantly put other peoples needs before your own, struggle to say no, and overanalyze every interaction. It’s exhausting, and deep down, you’re craving permission to finally choose yourself.
You appear “put together” - always achieving and doing - but underneath, you’re battling burnout, chronic self doubt, and a constant sense that you’re never doing enough.
Rest feels like a luxury you haven’t earned.
You may find yourself in one-sided relationships, constantly feeling responsible for other people’s emotions, moods, and fixing their problems. You care deeply. But underneath, resentment or frustration is building - and you feel guilty for even having it.
You’re tired of carrying everything alone. You want to feel relief, supported, and permission to stop being the strong, reliable one all the time.
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You may find yourself stuck in cycles of emotional reactivity,
mental overdrive, and a nervous system that rarely feels settled.Everything can feel urgent, charged, and high-stakes.
Your mind races. Your body stays braced. You feel responsible for everyone’s emotions around you.
You’re constantly scanning for signs that something might go wrong.You analyze tone shifts, facial expressions, text messages.
You replay conversations and jump to the worst-case scenarios.You replay what you said, what they meant, what you should have done differently.
Small interactions can linger for hours - sometimes days.
Not because you’re dramatic or overthinking for no reason,
but because your mind is trying to anticipate threat, rejection, or disconnection.Over time, this can feel so exhausting.
Like you’re never fully at ease. Never fully safe and never fully able to relax into your life or relationships.
Why?
Because relational trauma, chronic stress, attachment wounds,
and unmet emotional needs can keep your nervous system
locked in fight-flight-freeze-fawn mode.Even when nothing is objectively wrong!
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You’ve built a life that looks good on the outside - but internally your nervous system rarely feels settled.
You’re often bracing, anticipating, managing, people pleasing, giving, reading the room, staying ahead of everyone else’s needs.
Over time, this can leave you feeling anxious, emotionally exhausted,
and strangely disconnected from your own needs, preferences, and instincts.You likely don’t fully trust yourself, your emotions, or your relationships.
You’re not just looking for relief from anxiety…you’re longing to feel safe in your body, secure in your relationships, and at home within yourself.
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You’ve tried talk therapy before, but it didn’t stick or you haven’t truly connected with your therapist. You found yourself aware of some patterns, but nothing changing.
You are ready for the right connection with a therapist who deeply gets you and participates in the convo too.
You want an actual plan to address what is going on and heal the patterns to make lasting long term change.
This is the type of therapy I provide, I will be there as an active participant! We will co-create a plan to address whats going on.
We will get to the root, go deep, and also discover what tools are needed to make change outside of just the therapy room.
If you also want to incorporate your body, learn to regulate your nervous system, or try EMDR & IFS to truly reprocess highly stressful experiences from your past and release negative beliefs you hold about yourself: learn more about my blend of modalities here
Hi! Im Alyssa
I look forward to getting to know you and connecting!
I am a licensed therapist (LCSW) based in NYC and provide virtual therapy across NY, NJ, DC & MD. I specialize in working with high-functioning adults who feel stuck in cycles of anxiety, people-pleasing, chronic over-responsibility and over-giving.
I work with clients who are outwardly successful and high achieving but inwardly overwhelmed and exhausted… those who have spent years taking care of everyone else. Overthinking every decision. Second guessing their worth. Often, these patterns didn’t start with you - they were protective adapted responses shaped in early relationships to keep you safe.
If you’re craving deeper healing, a more compassionate relationship with yourself, and balanced healthier relationships with others - I’d be honored to support!
I take a relational, attachment-centered approach to therapy that focuses on what’s happening in real time - within you, within our work together, and within the patterns that show up in your relationships.
I also integrate trauma-informed, somatic, nervous-system-based, and parts work approaches to support deeper, lasting change - not just understanding why things are hard, but helping your system and the different parts of you actually shift outside of the therapy room.
Basically, I like to go deep and help you identify the root cause of these patterns and then bring in the strategies your nervous system, mind, and body actually need to shift patterns (not just talk about it).
As a relational therapist, I prioritize building real safety and trust between us before diving deep.
I will be there to listen, to validate, and to hear you and I also offer feedback, guidance, accountability, and strategies to make meaningful change. I do not just smile and nod or stare at you, this will be a two way conversation! And if you want to be lovingingly challenged - I am here for that too.
I believe that one size doesn’t fit all with those therapy approaches, so we will collaborate to individualize your treatment plan together to meet your needs.
I welcome ALL ages, races, sexualities, gender expressions, nationalities, abilities, and body sizes. Please know I am LGBTQIA+ affirming.
I would love to get to know you, your needs, and discuss together if we are a good fit together! I’m excited to get to know you!
How I can help
I specialize in holistic and nervous system based therapy for deeper change.
This is therapy that goes beyond insight - we work with your nervous system, emotions, and relationship patterns so change actually sticks.
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You might feel anxious and hypervigilant in relationships - bracing for rejection, overanalyzing tone shifts, wondering if you're "too much" and "not enough" at the same time.
You shut down to avoid getting hurt, or find yourself in push-pull dynamics that leave you emotionally drained - reaching out and then retreating, needing closeness and then needing space the moment you get it.
In therapy, we'll slow down and notice what's happening in real time - in your body, in your emotions, and in relationship - so you can build safety, trust, and new patterns that actually feel secure.
Together, we'll work toward fewer spirals, less bracing, and more secure connection - starting with your relationship to yourself.
Some examples of where this comes from:Emotional neglect / chronic invalidation
Inconsistent or emotionally immature caregivers
Parentification / taking on adult roles too early
Unpredictable moods / walking on eggshells
Betrayal or relational trauma in adulthood
Learn more about relational trauma and attachment therapy here!
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If your nervous system is always on - scanning, anticipating, over-planning, over-performing - it's no wonder you're exhausted.
Anxiety and hypervigilance can look like racing thoughts, replaying conversations, reading rooms before you've even sat down, and bracing for things that haven't happened yet.
It shows up in the body too - tightness in your chest, a pit in your stomach, a racing heart, the inability to actually rest even when nothing is wrong.
This isn’t a “disorder” - it's a nervous system that learned early that staying alert kept you safe. Long after the original threat was gone, your body kept the pattern running.
In therapy, we'll work with the root, not just the symptoms. Using somatic tools, parts work, and EMDR when it's the right fit, we'll help your body learn that it's finally safe to stand down. You can keep the edge. You just don't have to pay for it with your body anymore.
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You might be the one everyone relies on - the caretaker, the peacekeeper, the meditator, maybe the “strong” friend.
You say yes when you mean no.
You feel responsible for other people’s emotions.
You over-function in relationships and under-recognize your own needs.
Boundaries probably don’t exist.Underneath it? Exhaustion, secret resentment, chronic guilt.
And the deepest fear that if you stop doing, helping, or pleasing… you’ll experience rejection or lose the connection.These patterns often develop in response to early relational wounds, conditional love, or environments where your needs weren’t safe to express.
In therapy, we don’t just talk about setting boundaries. We work with the nervous system, attachment patterns, and protective parts of you that learned over-giving and self abandoning was the safest way to stay loved.
Learn more about people pleasing, codependency, and perfectionism therapy here!
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You’re a high achiever.
You’re driven, ambitious, responsible, high-capacity, and outwardly successful.
But internally? You’re anxious and constantly one upping your relentless criticism of yourself.
You hold insanely high self-imposed expectations for yourself.
Rest feels uncomfortable if it doesnt feel “productive” and slowing down feels literally impossible.
You struggle to sit still without feeling behind or raging guilt.When something goes wrong, it’s not just disappointment - it’s internalized shame.
Your inner critic is loud and mistakes feel catastrophic.
You over-plan, over-perform, over-deliver - and still feel like it’s not enough!If this is you..it’s often a nervous system shaped by early experiences where love, approval, or safety felt tied to performance.
In therapy, we work with:
-The nervous system stuck in overdrive
-The parts of you that equate productivity with worth
-The shame underneath perfectionism
-The fear that if you slow down, everything will fall apartSo you can move from urgency and self-criticism to grounded confidence and self-trust.
Learn more about perfectionism, high-functioning anxiety, and the therapy work here
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If you feel numb, disconnected, or like you're just going through the motions - that’s not you being lazy or unmotivated.
Sometimes what looks like ‘depression’ is your nervous system shutting down after too much stress for too long - numbness, disconnection, procrastination, brain fog, or going through the motions.
Thats a functional freeze response, trying to protect you from overwhelm or past trauma. Whether it shows up as emotional flatness, burnout, or a deep sense of disconnection, you don’t have to stay stuck.
Through a blend of somatic therapy, parts work, and/or EMDR we’ll go at your pace, gently reconnect you to your emotions and energy, and build small, doable steps that bring you back online - without forcing you to ‘push through.’”Learn more about burn out and therapy for functional freeze here!
How it works
Finding a therapist is overwhelming enough. Let me make this part as effortless as possible.
Click this link to choose a day and time for a free, confidential 15 minute phone consultation. I will take the time to get to know you and your therapy needs, answer questions you may have for me, and together we can determine if we are the right fit to get started.
I’m Also here to help with…
ADHD
High Functioning Codependency
Insecure Attachment Styles
People Pleasing
Perfectionism
Disordered Eating Patterns
Alcohol Use & Sober Curiosity
Trauma, PTSD, C-PTSD
Anxiety & Overwhelm
Depression & Burn Out
Relationship Difficulties
Life Changes & Transitions
Self-Esteem & Self-Trust
Ways We Can Work Together:
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I offer online virtual therapy for adults in New York, New Jersey, DC, and Maryland navigating anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, relational trauma, c-ptsd, perfectionism, and burn out.
If you’re constantly overthinking, stuck in guilt, or feel like you’re never “good enough,” therapy can help you reconnect with your needs, your boundaries, and your sense of self.
My approach is relational, attachment-centered, and grounded in nervous system work. I focus on going deep - building real safety first - while also offering thoughtful feedback and gentle challenge when needed.Modality-wise, I integrate trauma-informed and holistic practices, including EMDR, somatic therapy, parts work, nervous system regulation, and mindful self-compassion to support lasting change - not just insight.
I offer a hybrid therapy option in NYC for those who want to meet in person occasionally. Otherwise, sessions are fully virtual.
Learn more about my therapy approach here!Learn more about EMDR therapy here
Learn more about holistic, somatic, nervous system modalities here
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Sometimes 50 minutes simply isn’t enough.
Therapy intensives offer extended, focused support for deeper healing, nervous system regulation, and meaningful emotional shifts.
These sessions may include EMDR, attachment-focused therapy, IFS parts work, somatic work, and mindfulness-based approaches - tailored to your goals and needs.
Intensives are ideal if you:
Feel stuck in over-giving, anxiety, hypervigilance, or people-pleasing
Want to process a specific trauma target or relational wound
Feel emotionally insightful but still stuck in the same patterns
Want deeper healing in a more immersive format
This is not rushed therapy.
It’s immersive, supported, and structured - allowing us to move beyond surface insight and into meaningful shifts.Intensives are especially supportive for high-functioning, insightful adults who understand their patterns intellectually - but still feel stuck emotionally or somatically.
What’s Included:
• Personalized pre-intensive assessment + consultation
• Extended therapy sessions available virtually or in-person
• EMDR, somatic therapy, IFS parts work, and nervous system-focused support
• Customized integration workbook with reflection prompts and grounding tools
• Post-intensive integration session + ongoing support recommendationsWe’ll collaboratively determine the right structure for you.
In-person therapy intensives are offered in NYC.
Virtual intensives are available for clients located in NY, NJ, DC, and MD.Lean more about therapy intensives here
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Support groups are a powerful space for anyone who wants to feel less alone in their healing!
In my groups, you get guidance from a trauma-informed therapist and the peer support of being in a room with people who get it.
We explore patterns like people-pleasing, anxiety, perfectionism, codependency, and relational trauma while practicing boundaries, self-trust, and nervous system regulation together.
These groups offer connection, accountability, learning, support, and community - all the things that help you feel less overwhelmed and more supported in your work.
Current Support Groups:
Codependency & Healthy Relationships Support Group
For women in their 30s-50s looking for a long term relational group to work on breaking free from codependent patterns and improving their relationships with others and themselves.
Wednesdays from 4-5:15 pm est via zoom
Womens Relational Trauma, Anxiety, and Self Trust Support Group
For women in their 30s and 40s newly learning that they people please, put everyone else first, struggle with anxiety, and wanting to learn how to trust themselves and take better care of themselves!
Tuesdays from 4:30 - 5:45 pm est via zoom
Women’s Therapist Consultation Group
For female therapists looking for support personally, professional, and in their business!
Thursdays 10 - 11:15 am est (2x a month)
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Being a therapist is one of the most rewarding - and one of the most challenging - jobs there is. Holding space for your clients while navigating your own humanness is no small thing. That's why having your own support system matters just as much.
Here's how I support mental health professionals:
Clinical Consultation In our session, we dive into your cases, explore countertransference, strengthen your therapeutic voice, and make sure you're practicing in a way that feels ethical, grounded, and aligned with who you are as a clinician. We also focus on sustainability - because being a good therapist doesn't mean abandoning your own needs.
Business & Marketing Consultation I offer business consultation for therapists navigating private practice building, niching, client boundaries, content creation, SEO, and marketing - all done authentically and sustainably. Whether you're taking your first steps or scaling something bigger, I help you get clear and strategic without the urgency or overwhelm. I won't hand you a list of strategies - I'll listen first, then help you build a few foundational approaches that actually feel good and keep you motivated. I offer one time or ongoing support!
The Private Practice Consultation Group for Therapists Who Give Too Much
A small, intimate virtual group for therapists who identify with over-giving, anxious, perfectionistic tendencies and are tired of feeling overwhelmed, not knowing what your true needs are and want community, consultation, and real support - without burning out in the process.My background -
I've been in the field for 10 years, received my MSW from NYU in 2018, and have supervised therapists for several years across PHP/IOP, group practice, and private practice settings. I’m trained in EMDR, parts work, somatic practices, and mindful self compassion.
I'm happy to share what worked - and what didn't - but ultimately we're here to find what works for you.
Check out my about me page.Ready to explore working together? Schedule a free call to discuss your goals - or book your first session directly.
Beyond Therapy:
A collection of educational workshops, nervous system resources, and self-trust tools for over-givers, hypervigilant people-pleasers, and anyone exhausted from carrying too much emotionally.
Designed to support deeper healing, reflection, and growth beyond the therapy room
*Please note this is not a substitute for therapy or count as mental health treatment - educational purposes only
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The Over-Giver Workbook
If you're constantly anticipating other people's needs, feeling responsible for everyone's emotions, struggling to say no, or ending the day completely drained, this workbook is for you.
The Over-Giver Workbook is designed to help you understand the nervous system patterns underneath people-pleasing, over-functioning, hypervigilance, and chronic self-abandonment.
Inside, you'll learn why letting go feels so difficult, how over-giving became a survival strategy, and practical tools to help you reconnect with your own needs, limits, and sense of self.
Through psychoeducation, guided reflection exercises, nervous system tools, journaling prompts, and actionable boundary practices, you'll begin untangling the belief that your worth comes from how much you do for others.
Perfect for those who are tired of carrying everyone else emotionally and ready to start coming home to themselves.
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✨ Nervous System Workbook
A free guide to understanding your stress responses, regulating overwhelm, and creating more safety and calm within your nervous system.✨ Hypervigilance in Relationships Guide
Learn the hidden signs of hypervigilance and emotional over-monitoring in relationships - plus 4 grounding tools to break the spiral.✨ “Are You Emotionally Carrying Too Much?” Quiz
A reflective quiz designed to help you identify nervous system patterns of over-giving, hyper-responsibility, people-pleasing, and being the peacekeeper -
Currently working on new programs for the fall :)
Featured On
I was featured on the Affirming Minds Podcast, where I shared insights on high-functioning codependency, fawning, parentification, enmeshment, and the challenges of always being the giver/doer. Listen to the episode below.
Affirming Minds Podcast - for mental health professionals you can get CE credits for listening. Use “ALYSSA” here.
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