Rest, Play, and Adventure: The Real Tools My Nervous System Needed

This blog is inspired by my own personal work and life lately.

As a business owner who genuinely loves what she does, I can get really caught up in constant “doing.” I move in waves of inspiration and intensity - driven, determined, and honestly? Pretty disciplined. I can get a lot done. But just like so many of my clients, I struggle to slow down, to soften, and just let myself be human, even with all of my nervous system knowledge and experience.

I know what’s needed to not burn out. And while I genuinely love my work, being productive 24/7 isn’t something any of us are built for! That includes in our healing journeys, too. These days, there’s always another book to read, another therapy modality to explore, another nervous system tool or wellness hack to try. But here’s the truth:

✨ Part of healing requires you to ironically stop trying to heal all the time.
✨ Part of self-care is being unproductive and just doing things for pure fun.
✨ Rest, joy, stillness, play, and disconnection are medicine for the modern nervous system.

I had been a bit on autopilot, caught in that “go-go-go” mode until I finally had a vacation coming up - Chamonix, France. A full week off - no sessions, no emails, no content planning. At first, I was scared it would kill my momentum. But of course, it was exactly what my nervous system needed!

I hiked Mont Blanc, I paraglided (yes which I never thought in a million years I’d do, because of raging anxiety about it), I went white water rafting and swimming in the coldest river of France, I played games with my loved ones and had true quality time, laughed until I cried, and got to unplug from my phone and social media. I tried new foods and experiences and let go of control. Ironically, I felt more alive, free, and more myself, than I had in months!!

So what I learned? The following ten pillars aren’t “extras.” They’re not things to sleep on. They’re foundational - especially for high-achieving, sensitive, empathic humans with busy brains and tired nervous systems.

Here are the ten nervous-system-nourishing pillars I came home with - plus ideas, challenges, and the neuroscience behind why they work!

Adventure

When we do something novel or slightly out of our comfort zone - like paragliding or rafting - it activates the brain’s dopamine system, increasing motivation and pleasure. At the same time, experiencing awe in nature can regulate the vagus nerve and downshift the nervous system from hyperarousal (anxiety and overwhelm or fight/flight mode) to a more calm, connected state.

Adventure reminds the body and our brains: You are safe to try new things. You can survive discomfort. You’re alive.

Which actually, builds up our confidence and self-trust! Now, the next time I feel anxious I can be like - Alyssa, you literally paraglided off a mountain in the french alps lol.

Why it helps: Novel experiences release dopamine, the “motivation molecule.” Adventure helps you shift out of hypervigilance or rigidity by signaling safety and excitement to the brain.

Ideas: Try a new hiking trail. Take a weekend trip. Try a new food or activity. Say yes to something that scares you just enough to grow you.

Challenges: Anxiety might say, “What if something goes wrong?” or “That’s too risky.” If you’re used to controlling outcomes, adventure might feel threatening. Start small and build the muscle over time! It teaches you scary things can go right.

Play

Why it helps: Play activates your social engagement system and parasympathetic pathways. It also supports emotional integration, especially after stress. We all have an inner child needing to be nourished and play helps us do just that! It makes us feel excited, joy, and alive. Even adults are meant to play. It will feel free - trust me.

Ideas: Dance around your apartment. Play a game with friends. Do something just for fun - not for progress, not for healing. Think back to what you loved as a child - did you ride your bike? sing? puzzles? get back into that stuff!

Challenges: You might feel silly or you might judge yourself. You might hear the inner critic whisper, “this is a waste of time.” Remember: your adult nervous system and inner child needs play to reset.

Joy and fun

Why it helps:
When was the last time you felt pure, genuine joy? Not productive joy or “I earned this” joy. Just being alive and present joy?

Joy activates the parasympathetic nervous system as well which is the “rest and digest” state - and releases oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. These are the exact neurochemicals that counteract chronic stress, burnout, and anxiety. For those wired for anxiety, hypervigilance or people-pleasing, this can be a powerful shift. Joy is not just an emotion - it’s a physiological cue of safety for your nervous system.

These experiences of joy and well-being are made possible by two things:
✨ Mindful presence (aka not being on your phone, not numbing, not spiraling - just being there)
✨ Activating the neuroscience of joy (aka shifting your brain and body into safety and connection)

Our brains are wired for survival, which means they’re primed to notice the negative - what’s missing, what went wrong, how you messed up that convo, how you might be perceived. This is especially true for anyone with trauma, anxious attachment, or a history of stress overload. The nervous system lives in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Joy is the exit route!

Micro-moments of joy - like a moment of laughter, the feeling of sunlight, a small adventure, a mindful sip of tea - can start rewiring your brain and body to recognize that not everything is dangerous. That there are glimmers of good. That you are safe enough to pause, feel, and receive.

These moments also flood the body with feel-good chemicals as I mentioned like:
✨ Dopamine (motivation + pleasure)
✨ Oxytocin (connection + bonding)
✨ Serotonin (mood + resilience)
✨ Endorphins (stress relief + pleasure)

Ideas: Watch something that makes you belly laugh. Try something silly or lighthearted. Eat your favorite meal slowly. Create a ritual to sip your morning coffee. Listen to music you loved as a teen. Hug your loved one. Soak up that first 10 seconds of sunlight mindfully. Even one moment a day counts!

Challenges: Joy can feel…unsafe at first. Especially if you’ve spent a lifetime scanning for danger or feeling like good things get taken away. It can feel fleeting, or like you don’t deserve it. But when you stay with the moment - when you really let it land - you begin to build a nervous system that knows how to feel good and trust it will come again.

Creativity

Why it helps: Creative practices support right-brain activation, which is associated with emotion, imagination, and play. This balances overactive left-brain logic and gives your body space to process unspoken emotions.

Ideas: Journal. Paint. Collage. Garden. Cook a new dish. Rearrange your space. Listen to music. Write music. Take an improv class. Draw. Color.

Challenges: Perfectionism can block creativity. That “I’m not creative” voice is often just a protector. Focus on process over product. Let yourself make a mess. And if you’re thinking, “im not creative!” - think again! We are all creative, just in different ways. I personally love music and used to sing when I was younger, so that’s always my creative outlet. And interestingly enough, writing these blogs tapped into a new side of creativity for me, weaving in my love of mental health!

Nature

Why it helps: Nature literally lowers cortisol, reduces amygdala activity (fear response), and helps restore a regulated circadian rhythm. Your brain evolved outdoors - not indoors, behind screens. You feel deeply connected, regulated, and soothed when you are in true nature. Thats why “touch grass” is the new grounding skill - literally!

Ideas: Sit under a tree. Watch a sunset. Touch the earth. Stare at a river. Breathe in fresh air around trees. Hike if you can. Or go on a walk where you don’t have your phone and just watch for colors or sounds around you.

Challenges: City life makes this hard, trust me. Being in New York City, I constantly crave getting out to get my dose of nature. But you can find it in smaller doses like central park! Or if you’re in Washington DC - get out and go to Maryland - there are tons of trails and beautiful places. Another: you might feel resistance if “being in nature” sounds time-consuming. But even 10 minutes counts. Even a houseplant or a window view with natural sunlight can help.

Emotional rest

Why it helps: When you’re constantly attuning to others (aka, people-pleasers), your nervous system is stuck in output mode. When you work a job that makes you be busy and productive constantly, your brain is taking in sooo much stimulus. Also, having our phones and social media adds to that mental fatigue and overstimulation. And then you mix in being over-responsible for other people or a perfectionist with unrealistic expectations for yourself - you are going to be drained mentally and emotionally. So…emotional rest helps return that energy back inward and clear out your mind. Giving your mind some peace and quiet and clarity.

Ideas: Say no without over-explaining. Take a day where no one has access to you. Let yourself cry without needing to “figure it out.” Journal with meditative music in the background. Go to therapy!

Challenges: Guilt, fear of letting people down, shame around needing a break. But you are not a machine - your worth isn’t tied to what you give.

Stillness

Why it helps: Similarly, stillness increases vagal tone (calm, connection, and safety) and widens your window of tolerance for being adaptive to stress. It helps you get better at being with discomfort over time. Just like the emotional rest pillar, when you are go-go-go you are overwhelmed, overstimulated, and it’s a fast track to burn out. So, allowing yourself to get more comfortable with stillness (even in micro moments) - will be a game changer to release stress and tension, reduce anxiety, and prevent burn out.

Ideas: Sip tea and do nothing. Lay on the floor and breathe. Watch the clouds. Do things in micro moments if it feels uncomfortable. You can even have stillness mixed with movement - for example the mindful walk where you walk with no phone. Just get rid of the overstimulation and overwhelm and just be.

Challenges: If your baseline is anxiety or you have a history of living in a chaotic environment, stillness might initially feel unsafe. Start with a few minutes. Track what comes up. Stillness is a practice, not a marathon and performance of perfection.

Connection

Why it helps: As much as society is really preaching about being alone these days (which yes is important too, especially if you struggle with codependency) - co-regulation with safe others is the most powerful form of nervous system healing. We are social beings literally wired for connection. We need attachment toward each other. We do need others to support us and meet our needs (we just don’t want to over-rely on others and neglect ourselves.) Co-regulation with another increases oxytocin, calms the limbic system, and reinforces secure attachment.

Ideas: Have a phone-free meal with a friend. Snuggle or hug someone. Say what’s really on your heart and let someone hold it. Find a community. Join a support group.

Challenges: Vulnerability is scary. If you've been burned by connection or have been through relational trauma, it may feel safer to isolate. But even a moment of shared laughter counts. Let yourself be open and honest with others.

Phone detox

Why it helps: Constant alerts and digital stimulation keep your nervous system in a perpetual state of micro-stress and overstimulation. A detox restores presence, intention, and real-time regulation. It also resets the brain and allows you to clear the overstimulation.

Ideas: Put your phone in a drawer after 8pm. Turn off notifications. Try a “no scroll Sunday.” Use an actual alarm clock instead of your phone.

Challenges: FOMO, discomfort, boredom, even genuine withdrawal. But once the detox settles, you may feel more centered, clear-headed, and at ease in your own rhythm. So as always like the stillness pillar, try it in micro doses. Do 15 minutes once a day - don’t go cold turkey.

Integration Time

One more that’s not on the original list but is crucial: integration.

You can’t keep regulating your nervous system if you don’t pause to reflect on what’s working and what’s not. Healing is not just about adding more - it’s about absorbing and embodying what’s already here.

Ask yourself:
✨ Which of these pillars do I need more of this week?
✨ Which one is hardest for me?
✨ What might it look like to start anyway?

You don’t have to do all of them or have them done perfectly. You just have to start where you are!

✨ Doing less isn’t lazy - it’s wise.
✨ Rest doesn’t ruin momentum - it sustains it.
✨ Joy isn’t a luxury - it’s medicine.

Let’s normalize nervous system healing that includes laughter, awe, wonder, and unplugging. Because again, you are not a machine - you’re a living, breathing human who deserves to feel good.

My biggest takeaway from my trip was how deeply I needed that reset, despite all of my wellness and mental health practices. I needed time away from work to just laugh, connect, be joyful, and play. And, I feel like my most authentic self again! So I now know I am going to work more intentionally to incorporate these consistently in smaller doses and I hope you do too.

About the author

Hi! I'm Alyssa! I’m a trauma therapist that specializes in helping women heal from relational trauma, c-ptsd, anxiety,
codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing patterns. My approach blends holistic, somatic, nervous system care, & EMDR.

✨ I provide online therapy to adults located in New York, New Jersey, Washington, DC, and Maryland.
📩 Email me at alyssakushnerlcsw@gmail.com or schedule a free 15-minute consultation to get started.
💬 Follow me on Instagram for more tips, tools, and inspiration around healing, self-trust, and mental health.
✨Not ready for therapy yet? Stay connected by subscribing to my free monthly newsletter, where I share a free nervous system workbook, mental health tips, journal prompts, and upcoming offerings to support your healing journey.

Disclaimer

This post is meant for educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for diagnosis, assessment or treatment of mental conditions. If you need professional help, seek it out.